Sydney, Australia – In a plot twist straight out of a sci-fi flick, some of Australia’s biggest retailers have been caught red-handed using facial recognition tech to spy on shoppers, all without a peep to the public. The bombshell comes courtesy of local whistleblower and self-proclaimed “privacy pirate,” Big Wang Mark, who spilled the beans to anyone who’d listen at the pub last night.
“They’re scanning yer mugs while you’re browsing for bog rolls!” Big Wang Mark bellowed, waving a meat pie for emphasis. The retailers, now forced to unplug their sneaky face-trackers, are sulking in the corner, but Big Wang warns it’s only a matter of time before the government gives ‘em the green light to turn every store into a dystopian selfie studio.
Meanwhile, across Aussie cities, mysterious cameras are popping up like roos in a paddock, snapping pics of every car’s number plate that zooms by. Big Wang Mark reckons the state government’s playing coy, hiding the tech’s true powers like a magician guarding their best trick. “They won’t admit it, but they’re watching us all!” he declared, squinting suspiciously at a nearby traffic light. Cops, however, keep slipping up, posting pics from these secret cams whenever they’re hunting a suspect, letting slip their Big Brother antics while pretending it’s just a “lucky snapshot.”
Big Wang Mark ain’t buying it. “They’re keeping us in the dark, mate! It’s like we’re all starring in a creepy reality show we didn’t sign up for!” he roared, vowing to keep exposing the surveillance shenanigans with his trusty megaphone and a cold one in hand.
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